Pump Up the Jam: A Tribute to Music in Sports

Last week, I had an idea. My thought process went something like this:

“I should write about changes I would make as commissioner of the NBA.”

Turns out it was great. [Scroll down a bit to read it.] But the last change I recommended (“cut the music during gameplay”) went a tad overboard. In case it was unclear, what I actually meant to propose was getting rid of the remixes of Top 40 songs during game action, not the accompanying tunes which augment and enhance the in-game experience so well. Music has always had a place in the sports world, and the coupling of jams and jocks has been a (mostly) successful marriage for decades.

So in light of this little misunderstanding, I thought I would make up for it by expressing my love for sports music in a little tribute. Here are some of the most memorable examples of music used at sporting events since the first instruments and PA systems were permitted in stadiums across the land. They aren’t ranked, because it’s an apples-and-oranges kind of thing. Different leagues, eras and contexts. Let’s get to the tunes. Enjoy.

“The Brass Bonanza” (Hartford Whalers, WHA, NHL). If you ever played NHLPA Hockey ‘93 for the Super Nintendo or Sega Genesis, you know this tune. I had this one stuck in my head for days on end back then and after listening to it again on the official “Brass Bonanza” website, the memories have been rekindled. There’s even an extended version for those hardcore Bonanza buffs. The big band sound was sorely lacking in NHL arenas until Jack Say’s gem came along, and thanks to the internet, it doesn’t have to go away.

“Take Me Out to the Ballgame”. No trip to the ballpark is complete without the time honoured seventh-inning stretch, and Jack Norworth’s 1908 composition still rings out to this day. The song has been covered by numerous bands and artists (Vince Guaraldi for the Peanuts gang, Jacqueline Schwab and Dr. John for the Ken Burns series, King Curtis and of course the parade of celebrities at Wrigley Field) but its most appealing quality is the fact that it encourages fan participation. I still remember the first time I sang it at a Major League game.

“Roundball Rock”, the NBA on NBC theme song. Just thinking about it sends shivers down your spine. Admit it. We’re all ashamed to love this tune (because it’s written by John Tesh) but it’s just too good. Watch this clip and tell me you don’t have visions of Knicks/Pacers, Bulls/Jazz or Lakers/Blazers:

I would venture as far as to say this could be the greatest non-hockey sports television theme ever. ABC elected not to buy the rights to the tune when they took over the national weekly NBA broadcasts, and nothing they have tried has come close to getting us on the edge of our seats the way “Roundball Rock” did so often. It even made its way into pop culture, when Tesh was a guest on Late Night with Conan O’Brien:

“The Super Bowl Shuffle” (1985 Chicago Bears). It was cheesy. It was contrived. It was a bunch of tone-deaf athletes making fools of themselves. But it was a glimpse at the lighter side of an intensely focused, Mike Ditka-coached machine. Give me a thousand reasons why this song/video was terrible, and I’ll give you the very same thousand for why it was tremendous. Watch it and try not to lose it when you hear the legend, Walter Payton say, “They call me ‘Sweetness’ and I like to dance/Running the ball is like makin’ romance.”

You can’t possibly keep a straight face watching punter Maury Buford (#8) playing the cowbell. It’s just not possible.

“Sweet Georgia Brown”, the Harlem Globetrotters theme. Truly a classic, this Brother Bones tune would join “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” as the first inductees into the Sports Music Hall of Fame (if such a place existed). The song’s appeal lies in its playfulness, simplicity and care-free whistling. Everyone has a Globetrotters story, and their song, like the team itself, has endured for decades.

“Gonna Fly Now” (The Rocky films). Bill Conti composed the track for the 1976 Best Picture award-winning “Rocky”, and never let us forget the title character’s rise to the top of those steps in Philadelphia (and his figurative rise to the top of the boxing world). DeEtta Little and Nelson Pigford supplied those chilling background vocals while the underdog trained mercilessly. The now famous scene, of course, climaxes with Rocky ascending the Philadelphia Museum of Art and raising his arms in victory (like I had to tell you that). This is an example of the perfect marriage between music and sports, but it’s more than that. It’s a milestone in cinematic scoring, and a truly inspiring moment we’ll never forget.

The “Hockey Night in Canada” theme. Known simply as “The Hockey Theme”, it was written by Dolores Claman (of “Ontari-ari-o” fame) in 1968. Start playing this song and I guarantee vivid childhood memories of late nights, ponds, and playoffs will start to flow. Every Canadian (every true Canadian, anyway) can hum or whistle the tune, and many have called it the nation’s “other” national anthem. Whether you’re from the Foster Hewitt or Bob Cole eras, you can’t say anything bad about this song in a crowd and expect to survive. It is beloved not only because it brings us back to those great games and memories of the past, but also because it continues to take us to new heights every time we hear it.

Those are just a few legendary musical contributions to the sports world. There are many more, and here’s hoping you thought of a few while reading this. Until next time, keep humming, whistling and singing along.

Commissioner For a Day: NBA Edition

Congratulations! You’ve just been hired as the new commissioner of the National Basketball Association. Enjoy your spacious new office, the fourteen secretaries and the Rolodex of VIPs. You have been given the power to change the league. What would you do? Here’s my plan:

1. Ammend the infamous coming-off-the-bench rule. Since it’s fresh in everyone’s mind, we might as well start here. Even the most nonchalant sports fans remember where they were on November 19, 2004 when the Pistons/Pacers brawl erupted in Auburn Mills, Michigan. People tend to forget that this melee gave birth to the controversial rule suspending players for one game should they leave the bench while not officially on the floor. The rule itself was a typical over-reaction by the league office as well as a P.R.-motivated move by a league looking to do the right thing. Much like the five-second delay following the Janet Jackson Super Bowl incident, league brass acted quickly and irrationally when instituting this rule, and it shows.

In principle, you can see the validity of it. But in practice, as we saw in Game 4 of the Western Conference Semifinals, it goes too far. Phoenix Suns starters Boris Diaw and Amare Stoudemire simply came to the defense of teammate Steve Nash, who was given a cheap shot by Spurs Robert Horry. Sure, they left the bench. But Tim Duncan did the very same thing and the league didn’t flinch. Bottom line: you cannot suspend a player for walking on to the court. Players walk on to the court constantly and there is a better way to police it.

Suspend players for physical altercations (read: punching other players, shoving officials). Walking on to the court when not officially entered in the game is worthy of a technical foul. A second offense should be an automatic fine and one-game suspension.

2. Goodbye, soft salary cap. Hello, common sense. As it stands now, the NBA has a salary cap system in place, but teams can still exceed the spending limit and pay a luxury tax. So, basically, there is only the illusion of a cap. The only reason a hard cap doesn’t exist right now is that the players’ union, one of the strongest unions in North America, wouldn’t agree to the full system during the last round of negotiations and the league compromised. That’s understandable, but it’s time for a change. Look at the New York Knicks. With an astronomical team payroll of $139 million, they nearly tripled the 2006-07 limit of $53 million. Someone needs to put a lid on the free-spending owners of NBA franchises who crumble in front of player agents and offer the moon rather than risk losing their star. A hard cap will do this. Get rid of the luxury tax altogether and create a salary cap of $60 million for 2007-08. This takes into account a rise in payroll next season (an expected cap of about $55 million) as well as the mid-level exception ($5 million this past year) which allows teams to sign a player even if they’ve exceeded or met the limit. If a team’s transaction takes them over 60.0, it is rejected by the league office. This way, you avoid the heap of ridiculous contracts that have handcuffed so many franchises in the last decade while creating a level playing field and fostering competitive balance around the league. Union boss Billy Hunter would have to be swayed, but we’ll throw him a bone by extending the maximum length of player contracts from six years to seven. Look what the hard cap has done for the NHL. That’s really all the evidence you need.

3. Bring back the real fan. Now that the general managers aren’t worried about making a gazillion dollars in gate revenue to pay for their mistakes, we can lower ticket prices and open our doors once again to the true NBA fans. Escalating salaries had locked out the families, the working class and the lifelong (read: senior) supporters who followed the team in the days before their court was called the TD Banknorth Garden or Quicken Loans Arena. But thanks to change #2, we can now make going to an NBA game affordable again. Sure, there will still be corporate support. It’s absolutely essential. But you will need to dust off your earplugs, because NBA arenas won’t ever again sound like the public library. Good, hard-working people will be able to get great seats and you won’t need to know a suit to sit low on the floor. Welcome back, folks.

4. Cut the music during gameplay. This has to be done out of respect for the game of basketball. We all love music, but it has a time and place, and that is during breaks in the action. Today’s NBA doesn’t need to be about bombarding fans with music, P.A. announcer antics and sound effects. The game should speak for itself. The NHL has it right, as they stop music the second that play resumes. The best NBA cities fan-wise (Oakland, Salt Lake City, Chicago and New York City, to name a few) don’t need to be told when to chant “DEFENSE” or clap to a familiar rhythm. They understand the game and don’t need to be told what to do and when. They just know. A good crowd will rile itself up.

Well, my time as commissioner is coming to a close, but it’s been a great tenure. Here’s hoping these changes give us the league we all deserve.

Oh, the Humanity!

These days, when I think of the Toronto Blue Jays, the metaphors are endless. The Hindenburg, a sinking ship, a M-A-S-H unit…the list goes on. A once promising season is now all but over with more than four months remaining on the schedule. But while colleagues and friends mourn the loss of the 2007 Jays, I was expecting it all along. Here’s why:

General manager J.P. Ricciardi fell flat on his face this past winter, when he was supposed to be filling the club’s needs and erasing weaknesses.

After finishing second in the A.L. East in 2006, the team had high hopes and more importantly, high expectations for the next season. Owner Ted Rogers increased payroll again, giving Ricciardi more flexibility in the free agent market. What followed, though, would have to rank among the worst off-seasons of all-time. Here’s a quick recap of how it all turned out:

With one of the best starting lineups in the game but just one (that’s right, one) legitimate starting pitcher, the goal was clear: sign a serviceable starter. At least one, that is. Former Cy Young winner Roy Halladay and four batting practice pitchers would not be enough to compete over a 162-game season. Everyone knew it. So what does Ricciardi do? He refuses to pay Ted Lilly $10 million per season. Remember, this is a G.M. who came up through Billy Beane’s “moneyball” scheme in Oakland, where being frugal and making shrewd business decisions were looked upon as golden rules. That’s all fine and good in the A.L. West and for a team whose farm system consistently produces pitching prospects. But in an age when strong starting pitching is as scarce as clothing on Paris Hilton, you need to over-spend to get it. Ricciardi doesn’t budge and Lilly signs with the Chicago Cubs.

After refusing to outbid the Kansas City Royals for free agent starter Gil Meche (how can you not love that sentence fragment?), Ricciardi is left with nothing. His stubborn philosophy of not overpaying and sticking to his guns has left him with few options for potential starters. Sure, $11 million per year for a marginal pitcher is ridiculous, but this is what you have to do in today’s market to succeed. With Rogers loosening the purse strings, there were no excuses.

Instead of getting the solid pitcher he needs, he ends up overpaying for Frank Thomas (a two-time MVP but a veteran riding the coattails of a contract year) and rummaging through the scrap heap to uncover three lackluster journeymen pitchers, Tomo Ohka, John Thomson and Victor Zambrano. Thomson suffers from arm troubles and his season is derailed before it even begins. As for Thomas, he is given $18 million for a two-year deal. He’s pushing 40. Here we are in 2007, and the “slugger” is hitting .244 and has struck out in 23.2% of his at-bats. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now. Tell me why that move made sense.

Just when you think that can’t be topped, the adventure continues. After lowballing veteran catcher Gregg Zaun, rumours abound that Ricciardi is courting Texas catcher Rod Barajas. Seeing the writing on the wall, Zaun starts negotiating with other clubs, including the Yankees. But before Barajas can put pen to paper and take the standard physical exam, he backs out of the deal. [This is a great link, by the way. My favourite quote: "The entire episode is sort of embarassing." That's a nice way of putting it.] So with his tail between his legs, Ricciardi goes crawling back to Zaun and overpays for him just to get him back.

That wasn’t even the end of it. Other notable gaffes included losing steady reliever Justin Speier and consistent hitter Frank Catalanotto while taking a flyer on aging middle infielder Royce Clayton to replace the disappointing Russ Adams.

So we’re now just a month and a half into the season. Toronto snapped a nine-game losing streak last night (thanks, Tampa) but the outlook for the rest of the year is about as promising as Enron stock. Halladay may be out for 4-6 weeks. B.J. Ryan will miss the remainder of the year, an announcement which of course came after Ricciardi lied to the press about the nature of his injury. Surprising? Not in the least.

Between the Lines: Utah vs. Golden State, Game One

The highly anticipated NBA Western Conference semifinal between the Utah Jazz and Golden State Warriors tipped off last night, moments after viewers were lulled to sleep by Game 2 of the Chicago/Detroit series. These viewers didn’t get much time to doze off, as the two young contenders from the West staged a thrilling contest and provided more than a few classic moments. Here are a few things you may have missed from Monday night’s gem:

—> So what, you ask, will be this matchup’s most intriguing subplot? Clearly, the battle at the point guard spot between Golden State’s Baron Davis and Utah’s Deron Williams is the biggest story. But subplot? It has to be the mohawk revival. That’s right, folks. The stars have aligned. Thanks to Warriors wingman Matt Barnes and Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko, we have been blessed with two mohawk haircuts in a single series. Has this ever happened? Somebody get Elias Sports Bureau on the phone. It’s too bad Barnes’ backup, Al Harrington, shaved his off earlier in the year because a third ‘hawk would cause absolute bedlam. Jazz bench warmer Rafael Araujo (wow, I never thought I would need to type that name again) even has his own version, although it’s more of a “faux hawk”. Something tells me TNT caught on to the trend, because immediately after Carlos Boozer’s winning tip-in with 17 seconds to go, they went to break with a shot of a fan sporting a ‘hawk of his own. You have to applaud that decision.

—> Speaking of Davis vs. Williams (or Baron vs. Deron…hey, it rhymes!), you might have noticed the graphic TNT used to set up the storyline early in the first quarter. It was a bit like a pitcher’s scouting report but with more liberties taken, as the two guards’ styles and tendencies were contrasted in a few short phrases. One particular bullet stood out from the rest:

“[Deron Williams] will be Baron Davis in five years.”

I wonder how Mr. Williams feels about this less than encouraging prediction. If it’s true, Utah better lure Golden State’s training staff away in the off-season (or better yet, during this series) because he’s going to need all the medical attention Davis has required over the last few seasons. Sure, Davis is doing a tremendous job carrying the team on his back now, but he’s been dogged by injuries for his entire career. Nice work, TNT, and good luck breaking the hex, Deron. Winning Game 1 was a nice start.

—> If someone were to make a movie out of this series, there would be some great casting opportunities. For example, the role of Kirilenko would be played impeccably by Dolph Lundgren. It’s a perfect match, and I’m sure Lundgren could use the work. After all, he’s not doing much these days other than collecting royalty cheques for Rocky III.

Highly paid male cheerleader/Warriors reserve guard Sarunas Jasikevicius would be played by Matt Damon. Come to think of it, Damon could also audition for the role of gritty Jazz forward Matt Harpring. These three might have been separated at birth. If you ran into them at a Wal-Mart (now there’s a movie), would you be able to tell them apart?

Davis would be played by the animated donkey from the Shrek movies, while the part of controversial teammate Stephen Jackson would be given to Chris Rock. This thing writes itself.

Start Your (Search) Engines

Just as true fans and journalists alike spend hours perusing box scores, one of the best parts of having a blog is getting a look at the statistics. I’m not going to lie. Seeing the search engine terms entered by users randomly surfing the web and happening upon this small slice of the internet has become a truly entertaining pastime. Some people come in search of the blog itself and others look for topics addressed here. Then, of course, there are completely random and often hilarious queries. So rather than continuing to enjoy them for myself, it’s time to share the best user searches of the week.

7. “Rick Aguilera AND Mormon”. After I wrote this Memory Lane piece about Game Six of the 1986 World Series back in late March, the searches started pouring in. This game has an appeal unlike any other in baseball history. Yes, there have been more memorable individual moments (Thomson, Mays, Mazeroski, Fisk, Carter, etc.), but this game stands alone as a masterpiece (of comedy and tragedy) from start to finish. As for Aguilera, I did indeed mention that he was a devout Mormon and apparently, people are interested in this kind of thing.

6. “Greg Smyth hockey”. This one came after the Memory Lane feature on the Halifax Citadels. I can’t imagine who would be looking for details on an obscure hockey journeyman like Greg Smyth, but maybe his family just had some free time. He did spend time in the NHL with Philadelphia, Quebec, Toronto, Florida, Chicago and Calgary, so it’s entirely possible that he has a cult following.

5. “Who won the 1986 World Series?”. Another classic search grabbing hold of the first Memory Lane piece. What surprised me was the way this one was worded. The thing about that series was it was more about who lost it than who was ultimately victorious. Also, I can understand if a casual fan or baseball neophyte doesn’t know what happened, but I would have just typed in the event and read up on the result. It’s actually better this way though, because we know exactly what was going through the seacher’s mind.

4. A dead heat between “Bob McCown Rogers commercials music” and “Bob McCown Rogers commercials song”. Honorable mention to “Prime Time Sports simulcast theme”. These types of searches have been so regular that I might have to actually investigate. It appears that in this day and age of information overload (and with overwhelming interest in the radio show covered in this corner of the blogosphere) there is even a fan base for the soundtracks to both PTS and McCown’s Sportsnet ads. I have to admit, I have been caught bobbing my head or humming along with them, but I’ve never had the urge to find them online.

3. “Worst sports media personnel”. I don’t even feel like I need to say anything here. This one really speaks for itself. Seriously though, all kidding aside, I’m really not sure how this led the searcher here. I have a great deal of respect for the “sports media personnel” dealt with in these pages. The fact that people are looking for the worst is amusing, but they’ve clearly made a wrong turn if they expect to find them here.

2. “Marijuana Raptors”. I laughed out loud when I saw this one. I mean, come on. Really, people? These two words don’t exactly go hand in hand (“Welcome back to Word Association…your word, Tim, is…Raptors.”) Somewhere out there sits a very bored and probably hungry individual.

1. “Great Moments in Gospel Music, Vol. 2″. Can I get an amen from the congregation? This one also had me in stitches. Testify! I just wish I could have seen the look on their face when they found “Great Moments in Televised Radio, Vol. 2″. What a difference a couple of words make. Hey, it must have been alright, because the religious reader stuck around to read it.

This is going to have to be a recurring segment now. Until next time, may your searches bring you what you’re looking for (and maybe a little curveball along the way).

Slow News Day: Fanatics Indeed

The modern sports fan is angry. Escalating ticket prices, overpaid athletes and owners who gladly shell out their salaries make it hard not to sympathize with the fan who has to put up with the circus that is professional sports. Without fans, there are no leagues, after all. But the two fan-related stories that surfaced today raise the question: how much influence should paying patrons ultimately have?

Blinded by the Light: This one hurts baseball, the city of New York and its loyal, usually law abiding fans. According to this Associated Press report, Frank Martinez, 40, has been barred from Shea Stadium for three years for shining a flashlight in the eyes of Atlanta Braves pitcher Tim Hudson and shortstop Edgar Renteria during a game on April 20. Really? This is a new low for the Big Apple. This is the same town that chanted “Fire Layden” at the NBA Draft a few years back and stole a critical fly ball from Baltimore’s Tony Tarasco in the 1996 American League Championship Series. Yet those actions are tame compared to Frank’s little flashlight stunt. Surely it crossed the line and there’s not a whole lot of sympathy floating around right now, but if anything, it was original.

Nantes So Forgiving: According to several sources, former Manchester United and French national team goalkeeper Fabien Barthez is fleeing his club team, Nantes, after being attacked by a fan following a 2-0 loss to Rennes that put the club dangerously close to relegation for the first time in team history. Barthez had come out of retirement to help the struggling squad, and told radio station France Info about the run-in that may end his career. “A gang of five or six guys came to block me from leaving the stadium,” he said. “They were there to rub me out, as they said.” Just when you thought North American fans were passionate, soccer fans in Europe make sports enthusiasts across the pond seem Eeyore-esque. If you’re hungry for more, check out the Belfast Telegraph’s version of the events.

So, what’s left to be said here? While the majority of fans are civil, loyal and often display sportsmanship that the athletes themselves could learn from, there are always a few who ruin it for the rest. Here’s hoping Frank Martinez and his compadres overseas realize that it’s just a game and that coughing up a c-note to attend a sporting event doesn’t give you the right to inflict physical harm.