Everywhere Indeed: Live-Blogging CityTV’s Foray into Baseball

Sometimes in life, things just happen for a reason. Sunday afternoon, the unintentional comedy gods were smiling on us, as Toronto’s CityTV took a crack at broadcasting baseball.

On the diamond, you’d expect the Cincinnati Reds and Toronto Blue Jays to provide the typical Grapefruit League fare. But thanks to Gord Martineau and company, there was nothing typical about it.

12:25: The tension is palpable as we await the opening of the broadcast. There hasn’t been this much anticipation for a spring training game since, well, ever. It should be mentioned that because of Ted Rogers’ intriguing choice to put a spring training game on a local non-sports station, Major League Baseball has moved the start time up to 12:35 EDT. That’s right. The powers that be in the league office bowed to Rogers (owner of one of its franchises, overall media magnate and brand-new owner of CityTV). Aren’t we all better off for it? Get the popcorn ready, folks. Here it comes…

12:32: Our first glimpse of spring training, City-style, looks fairly normal. That is, until CityTV personality Jennifer Valentyne trots out to sing the Canadian anthem. The former Toronto Argonauts cheerleader is singing the anthem in slow-motion. Super slow-motion. Looks like she’s teaching the crowd the lyrics.

12:35: The opening throw to the booth couldn’t have gone any smoother, right? The first thing we hear is Kathryn Humphreys unknowingly uttering the following words with her mic on:

“Am I doing this here?” This is going to be a great afternoon.

12:36: Hugh Burrill and Martineau will provide the play-by-play and colour commentary this afternoon. Burrill’s introduction of the lineups isn’t much better than Humphreys’ opening gaffe. As he stumbles over the players’ names, the director throws in a graphic that looks like it was borrowed from the Dupont Network.

12:40: Thank you, Ted Rogers. Martineau throws it down to Barb DiGiulio of the FAN 590. The live hit passes without incident, and her energy and confidence make the City crew look like the chess club.

“We’re at a baseball game? Oh, darn, I forgot my spectacles! Remembered my pocket protector though.”

12:54: It’s clear now that this broadcast is a public relations vehicle the size of a Hummer limo. Jays president Paul Godrey steps into the booth to hawk season tickets in the game’s opening moments, and the commercials are nothing more than ticket-pushing spots from various spots around the Rogers Centre and beyond. In the top of the second inning, a booth conversation with the club’s events co-ordinator (about the post-game barbeque, no less) is interrupted by a triple to the gap in left-centre field by Reds’ farmhand Chris Dickerson. Oh, right, there’s a ballgame going on.

1:09: Finally, some genuine class on the broadcast. The FAN’s Jerry Howarth stops by in the top of the third. It’s great to see and hear Jerry again, as we finally get some real baseball analysis. Howarth breaks down what he expects from the pitching staff and new additions Scott Rolen and David Eckstein. So, to recap, the best elements of the broadcast so far have been Howarth and DiGiulio, both FAN personalities. Coincidence? Hardly. Let’s turn this into a real baseball broadcast, shall we? Where’s Mike Wilner?

1:21: Speaking of real baseball talk, Burrill has settled in nicely despite his lack of play-by-play experience. Martineau, on the other hand, is a complete mess. On Reds’ manager Dusty Baker:

“I remember Dusty when he was with the Los Angeles Dodgers and Tommy Lasorda was managing.”

Gord, that was 1976.

So far, we’ve seen Duane Ward and Lloyd Moseby selling tickets in the commercials. Why not have a former Jay in the booth doing the colour commentary? I guess that would just make too much sense.

1:27: Humphreys gets another shot at redemption as they throw it to her again. She’s with reliever Jeremy Accardo, outside what looks like the ballpark’s men’s room. Kathryn, please, just let the man go. We don’t need a bladder injury before Opening Day.

1:31: The third inning ends quietly. Oh, in case you’re wondering, it’s 2-0 Reds thanks to a two-run double by Cincinnati’s Jay Bruce back in the second inning. The Jays have just one hit on the afternoon (a single by Aaron Hill in the bottom of the third). Starter A.J. Burnett allowed the game’s two runs along with three Cincinnati hits in his two frames of work. You wouldn’t know it, but we’ve seen two pitching changes since his exit.

1:41: After a Scott Rolen single advances Reed Johnson to third and ignites the first real Toronto rally, it occurs to me. There have been exactly zero replays today. Is it really that hard to rewind the tape and cue it up? Oh, sorry, I forgot. The game is secondary.

1:42: Matt Stairs drives in Johnson with a single. How ‘bout that? 2-1 Reds. Still no replay.

1:46: The convergence is in full force, as Martine Gaillard gives us a Connected update. So we’ve now seen Sportsnet and FAN personalities appear on CityTV. Thank you, Ted Rogers.

1:56: You know it’s a bland broadcast when the day’s most entertaining moment so far is DiGiulio’s exclusive interview with Chad the Beer Man. I kid you not. This really happened. After Burrill provides some background on Reds’ reliever Mike Stanton and his inclusion in the Mitchell Report, Martineau admits, “You can see my depth of knowledge is an inch deep and a mile wide here.” It’s like watching a train wreck. I can’t turn this off.

1:59: Buck Coats picks up the pace with a two-run home run to right-centre field, during which he circles the bases at full speed with his head down. That’s right, it’s the same Buck Coats the Jays picked up from Cincinnati last August and the very same Buck Coats who’s now the subject of countless softcore porn jokes. According to his Wikipedia page, “he is known for [uttering] his catch phrase, ‘Yeah, baby’ in his southern drawl’.” I’m telling you, this thing writes itself.

2:19: Martineau actually asks Burrill, “Who’s at the plate?” on air in the bottom of the sixth. You can’t make this stuff up. Seconds later, Matt Stairs does it again, smashing a solo homer to right. The blast makes it 4-3 Toronto.

2:28: Kathryn Humphreys, please, enlighten us with some in-depth baseball analysis:

“Alex Rios, or ‘Eye Candy’ as I call him, is not in the lineup today. He is one good-looking fella.”

Ahem.

After a few more declarations of her lust for the outfielder, she interviews him. And by ‘interviews’, I mean ‘blatantly hits on him for five minutes straight’. The hard-hitting questions she throws his way include such gems as:

“Who’s better-looking…you or A-Rod?” When he says he’d give the honour to Rodriguez, she blurts out, “I wouldn’t.”

The best, though, had to be this one:

“If you were a pork chop, what sauce would you smother yourself with?”

Tonight on CityTV Late Night, Kathryn Humphreys stars in “Bats, Balls and the Reporters Who Love Them”. Buck Coats guest stars.

2:45: I’ll admit, I needed about 20 minutes to recover from that. Also of note, we finally have a replay! Good thing it only took eight innings to warm up the VTR deck. In case you’re interested, it’s 6-3 Toronto in the top of the eighth.

2:47: Toronto second baseman Joe Inglett gets an inning-ending force-out and starts his trot into the dugout. Just one problem. There are only two outs. That’s how you impress a manager in spring training, Joe. 6-4 Toronto.

3:01: Back from break, I’ve got good news and bad news. Want the good news first? Inglett just cranked a home run out of Knology Park and it’s now 8-4 in the bottom of the eighth. The bad news? CityTV missed it completely, running a break just a little too long. Would have been a nice moment, too. You know, a little redemption for Inglett after his blunder in the top half.

3:09: If there was even an inkling of hope that the game itself actually mattered to the City crew, that inkling was promptly squashed coming back from a taped Kathryn Humphreys piece.

Humphreys: “What’s going on now, Gord?”

[Awkward period of about five seconds while Humphreys stares at the camera waiting for the truck to cue Martineau.]

Martineau: “Check 1, 2…Yes, we’re back here at Knology Park and the game is over. How about this, Hugh? You blink and the game’s over, huh?”

Wait a second. The game is over? The game is over. This is what happens when you run taped pieces during game action. Have I mentioned I want to thank Ted Rogers?

3:17: Usually after live-blogging, I need a drink and a cold shower. Today would be no different if the broadcast ended here. But no, CityTV is staying in Dunedin. Ladies and gentlemen, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…the post-game barbeque for season-ticket holders!

Don’t worry, I’ll spare you the details. Besides, Lloyd Moseby’s going to hang up on me if I don’t order season tickets in the next five minutes. Welcome back, baseball. Nice to see you again.

No-No? No.

By now, loyal readers are familiar with my thoughts on the 2007 Toronto Blue Jays, but this afternoon, all that realism and skepticism took a well deserved day off.

On a day when I was reacquainted with broadcasting veteran (and Hockey Night in Canada heir apparent) Jim Hughson and booth rookie Jesse Barfield, there was much to talk about. Ironically, though, it was what wasn’t being mentioned that was the story. Toronto starter Dustin McGowan, coming off a rough outing against the Dodgers on Tuesday but having pitched five quality starts beforehand, flirted with history. The 25-year-old took a no-hitter into the top of the 9th inning, and CBC handled the event with tremendous tact, especially given the following factors:

While a no-no is in progress (ie. it’s at least the 6th inning and a pitcher has yet to allow a hit), it is a “no-no” to mention the no-hitter. You just don’t. It’s an unwritten baseball rule, like the tit-for-tat hit-by-pitch code. It’s been that way for over one hundred years, and those who violate it often suffer the consequences. The pitcher approaching the feat is always alone on the bench during his run at history, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. No one wants to be the one to jinx it for him, and he doesn’t want to ruin it for himself. These are baseball institutions, as storied as the seventh-inning stretch or chewing tobacco.

It’s harder than it seems to avoid mentioning something like this while it is in progress. As a broadcaster, it’s your duty to both describe the events unfolding in front of you and provide historical comparisons and insight to balance those events. You must not anger the baseball gods by mentioning it, but you feel it’s necessary as the central story of the game. For the three men entrusted with this difficult task, it must have been similar to how George Constanza felt when he had to keep the secret that Jon Lovitz’s character never had cancer. The one key difference?

The CBC did not once refer to what was taking place, with Hughson, Barfield and Rance Mulliniks fully aware but cautiously avoiding the ‘other’ n-word. No no-hitter-related images or statistics were shown. Nothing. We’ve all seen broadcasts in which the crew realizes what’s happening and brings up graphics putting it in context. These, of course, are now members of the oh-so-memorable One-Hitter Club.

But give the public broadcaster credit. Sunday’s contest was only its second baseball telecast since 2002 (and for Hughson, just his second baseball game in thirteen years). As the game progressed, I kept waiting for someone in the three-man broadcast team to say “no-hitter”, “history” or anything else that would have sealed their fate and ruined the afternoon. But it never came, and for that, they are to be commended.

I was wondering who would blow it first, and this actually became a great sub-plot. Barfield was the obvious choice, being the least experienced, having interrupted both Hughson and Mulliniks throughout the game and having shown unpredictable bursts of emotion (as Frank Thomas’ 499th home run was leaving the yard, Hughson was calling it when suddenly Barfield shouted “See ya!” over top of the play-by-play call). After all was said and done, though, the only times we heard the dreaded words came after McGowan gave up the hit to Jeff Baker to lead off the final frame.

Hughson showed no rust whatsoever and picked up right where he left off (the strike-shortened 1994 season, if you recall). It was a bit like Marv Albert calling a hockey game (yes, he has done Rangers broadcasts) or Al Michaels doing basketball. You know it’s not their forte, but they still do a fantastic job.

Mulliniks was his usual self. He is a very knowledgeable baseball man and articulates his thoughts well, but he tries to dominate a little too much and it sometimes shows. Twice during Sunday’s broadcast, he made predictions which turned out to be inaccurate and it hurt his credibility. In one instance, he suggested a batter would take a 3-1 pitch, but when the hitter grounded out instead of taking one, Mulliniks berated him for the next few minutes and defended his strategy. Look, Rance. Even the best broadcasters make mistakes. It’s dealing with them professionally that makes them the best.

Oh, and McGowan? Suffocating stuff on Sunday. Alliterations aside, his control was never in doubt. He mixed pitches well (credit Greg Zaun for managing the game well while facing a strong Colorado lineup) and dominated from start to finish. His only blemishes were the Baker hit and the walk he issued to Kaz Matsui in the fourth inning. Sure, it would have been just the second no-hitter in the history of the franchise and the first since Dave Stieb shut down Cleveland on September 2, 1990, but it was a terrific performance nonetheless.

As Mulliniks said this afternoon, “He finally gets it.” Six quality starts in his last seven outings? That’s nothing to stay quiet about.

Oh, the Humanity!

These days, when I think of the Toronto Blue Jays, the metaphors are endless. The Hindenburg, a sinking ship, a M-A-S-H unit…the list goes on. A once promising season is now all but over with more than four months remaining on the schedule. But while colleagues and friends mourn the loss of the 2007 Jays, I was expecting it all along. Here’s why:

General manager J.P. Ricciardi fell flat on his face this past winter, when he was supposed to be filling the club’s needs and erasing weaknesses.

After finishing second in the A.L. East in 2006, the team had high hopes and more importantly, high expectations for the next season. Owner Ted Rogers increased payroll again, giving Ricciardi more flexibility in the free agent market. What followed, though, would have to rank among the worst off-seasons of all-time. Here’s a quick recap of how it all turned out:

With one of the best starting lineups in the game but just one (that’s right, one) legitimate starting pitcher, the goal was clear: sign a serviceable starter. At least one, that is. Former Cy Young winner Roy Halladay and four batting practice pitchers would not be enough to compete over a 162-game season. Everyone knew it. So what does Ricciardi do? He refuses to pay Ted Lilly $10 million per season. Remember, this is a G.M. who came up through Billy Beane’s “moneyball” scheme in Oakland, where being frugal and making shrewd business decisions were looked upon as golden rules. That’s all fine and good in the A.L. West and for a team whose farm system consistently produces pitching prospects. But in an age when strong starting pitching is as scarce as clothing on Paris Hilton, you need to over-spend to get it. Ricciardi doesn’t budge and Lilly signs with the Chicago Cubs.

After refusing to outbid the Kansas City Royals for free agent starter Gil Meche (how can you not love that sentence fragment?), Ricciardi is left with nothing. His stubborn philosophy of not overpaying and sticking to his guns has left him with few options for potential starters. Sure, $11 million per year for a marginal pitcher is ridiculous, but this is what you have to do in today’s market to succeed. With Rogers loosening the purse strings, there were no excuses.

Instead of getting the solid pitcher he needs, he ends up overpaying for Frank Thomas (a two-time MVP but a veteran riding the coattails of a contract year) and rummaging through the scrap heap to uncover three lackluster journeymen pitchers, Tomo Ohka, John Thomson and Victor Zambrano. Thomson suffers from arm troubles and his season is derailed before it even begins. As for Thomas, he is given $18 million for a two-year deal. He’s pushing 40. Here we are in 2007, and the “slugger” is hitting .244 and has struck out in 23.2% of his at-bats. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now. Tell me why that move made sense.

Just when you think that can’t be topped, the adventure continues. After lowballing veteran catcher Gregg Zaun, rumours abound that Ricciardi is courting Texas catcher Rod Barajas. Seeing the writing on the wall, Zaun starts negotiating with other clubs, including the Yankees. But before Barajas can put pen to paper and take the standard physical exam, he backs out of the deal. [This is a great link, by the way. My favourite quote: "The entire episode is sort of embarassing." That's a nice way of putting it.] So with his tail between his legs, Ricciardi goes crawling back to Zaun and overpays for him just to get him back.

That wasn’t even the end of it. Other notable gaffes included losing steady reliever Justin Speier and consistent hitter Frank Catalanotto while taking a flyer on aging middle infielder Royce Clayton to replace the disappointing Russ Adams.

So we’re now just a month and a half into the season. Toronto snapped a nine-game losing streak last night (thanks, Tampa) but the outlook for the rest of the year is about as promising as Enron stock. Halladay may be out for 4-6 weeks. B.J. Ryan will miss the remainder of the year, an announcement which of course came after Ricciardi lied to the press about the nature of his injury. Surprising? Not in the least.

T.G.I. $#&@day?

Those of you flipping between baseball and hockey on Friday night got a rare treat: the elusive triple F-bomb.

Sure, we’ve seen cursing in sports in the past (just ask Bobby Knight, Ozzie Guillen, Shea Hillenbrand and Jim Mora) and even recently (see Josh Smith and James Toney). But three times by three different people in one night? This was like the solar eclipse of sound bytes. The best part about this remarkable feat was that you had to really be in the right place at the right time to see it. Let’s review:

The first: Toronto Blue Jays’ starter A.J. Burnett gets Baltimore’s Brian Roberts to fly out to center field to end the seventh inning, wrapping up his night on the mound. The score is flashed as we’re about to head to commercial. Then, there’s a shot of Burnett heading toward the dugout. He’s looking up, as in, high up in the stands. Now, I’m no expert lip reader, but I do know the words “F#&@ you” when I see them. After seeing it, readjusting my jaw and going over it in my head to make sure I wasn’t seeing things, one thing was clear. He wasn’t saying “F#&@ yeah!”. There was no fist pump. No glove slap. If he’s letting hecklers get to him in April, we should make sure there are no sharp objects in the clubhouse when September rolls around.

The second and third: One area where CBC’s Hockey Night in Canada has improved is in post-game coverage. This, of course, includes head coaches’ live press conferences. Tampa Bay Lightning bench boss John Tortorella is known for his, shall we say, honesty with the media. CBC’s own Don Cherry was handed a seven-second delay in 2004, and they might have given Tortorella a similar leash if they had known what was coming.

Watch it here and see for yourself. There were really three things that made this moment superb.

1. The “I think I just crapped my pants” look on the face of the male reporter standing in the shot.

2. The fact that, since it was live, there was no time for bleeping or editing.

3. The New York Post’s Larry Brooks standing up to Tortorella and dropping an F-bomb of his own. Now that’s journalism.