It’s July 1. But for the National Hockey League, it might as well be November 1, because the shopping frenzy has begun.
It’s 1:22 p.m. in Toronto. As of about an hour ago (12:00:00 EDT), teams were officially allowed to sign free agents. The NBA’s free agency period has also kicked off today, but actual signings can’t take place until July 11. So that lets us focus solely on hockey. The dollars have already started to fly, and we’ve still got a long way to go.
TSN has opted to cover the first day of NHL free agency (because really, aren’t we a little tired of mid-day poker coverage?). Call it excessive, over-the-top and maybe unneccesary, but admit it. You’re watching. This is part of being Canadian, and on Canada Day? How appropriate. By the way, happy 140th birthday, old gal.
Back to the “Free Agent Frenzy”. Or so TSN is calling it in their on-screen graphics. Hey, here’s an idea. Let’s evaluate their coverage of this momentus occasion. What, you have somewhere to be?
- It should be noted that they are the only network covering this “event”. The Score and Rogers Sportsnet have decided not to capitalize on (exploit?) Canada’s thirst for everything hockey-related, instead going with horse racing and pool, respectively.
- Best moment of the day so far? Allow me to set the scene. They cut to the Gord Miller-Bob Mackenzie-Darren Dreger desk. Miller is flanked by the other two. Mackenzie, to his left, is “typing” on his laptop (on camera!) and ignoring Miller’s insight, but he’s using only his pointer fingers to type. Look, we all know someone who does this. But who knew a veteran reporter (with a print background) never learned to type? Meanwhile, Dreger works the Blackberry (also on camera). Dreger 1, Mackenzie 0.
- Here come “The Reporters”. Dave Hodge is always entertaining, if not for his knowledge, then for his ad-libbing ability and terrificly wry sense of humour. Steve Simmons of the Toronto Sun equates the free agent landscape to a game of Clue, to which Sports Illustrated’s Michael Farber responds, “Or in your case, no clue.” Thank you, Michael.
- James Duthie, our host for the afternoon (so wait, they’re shuffling us between three tables of talking heads? Who IS hosting this?) chimes in. “We have one.” And, cue the canned SportsCentre theme. Todd White to Atlanta. Earth-shattering news, gentlemen.
- Miller tells us that “everyone but the Kansas City Scouts and California Golden Seals have put in an offer for Ryan Smyth.” I like the Seals to win the Cup next year.
- It’s 1:55 p.m. According to Duthie, the coverage is ‘ending’ in five minutes, in favour of NASCAR. He promises they’ll cut into the racing coverage and return if something does come up. I’d love to be a fly on the wall at that production meeting:
Executive #1: Should we stay with it all afternoon or cut to a sport no one watches?
Executive #2: Free agency is going to last all summer, and all we’ve seen so far is Joe Thornton re-upping in San Jose.
Executive #3: And Todd White to Atlanta.
Executive #2: Right, Todd White to Atlanta.
Executive #1: Okay, let’s have the hockey guys sit around in the studio all day and we’ll just turn on the cameras when something happens.
Executive #2: Sounds good. We just need someone to poke Hodge every twenty minutes. Oh, and make sure McGuire’s getting decaf.
Executive #3: Why don’t we have Darren give Bob typing lessons?
Executive #2: Great idea. Now, what’s next on the agenda? Oh, right. Maggie the Macaque’s contract negotiations.
Executive #1: Alright, you know the drill. We need all the bananas and cigars you can find, and don’t forget to cover the furniture. Remember, whatever you do, keep her away from Onrait. We don’t want a repeat of last year. This meeting is adjourned.
