Oh, the Humanity!

These days, when I think of the Toronto Blue Jays, the metaphors are endless. The Hindenburg, a sinking ship, a M-A-S-H unit…the list goes on. A once promising season is now all but over with more than four months remaining on the schedule. But while colleagues and friends mourn the loss of the 2007 Jays, I was expecting it all along. Here’s why:

General manager J.P. Ricciardi fell flat on his face this past winter, when he was supposed to be filling the club’s needs and erasing weaknesses.

After finishing second in the A.L. East in 2006, the team had high hopes and more importantly, high expectations for the next season. Owner Ted Rogers increased payroll again, giving Ricciardi more flexibility in the free agent market. What followed, though, would have to rank among the worst off-seasons of all-time. Here’s a quick recap of how it all turned out:

With one of the best starting lineups in the game but just one (that’s right, one) legitimate starting pitcher, the goal was clear: sign a serviceable starter. At least one, that is. Former Cy Young winner Roy Halladay and four batting practice pitchers would not be enough to compete over a 162-game season. Everyone knew it. So what does Ricciardi do? He refuses to pay Ted Lilly $10 million per season. Remember, this is a G.M. who came up through Billy Beane’s “moneyball” scheme in Oakland, where being frugal and making shrewd business decisions were looked upon as golden rules. That’s all fine and good in the A.L. West and for a team whose farm system consistently produces pitching prospects. But in an age when strong starting pitching is as scarce as clothing on Paris Hilton, you need to over-spend to get it. Ricciardi doesn’t budge and Lilly signs with the Chicago Cubs.

After refusing to outbid the Kansas City Royals for free agent starter Gil Meche (how can you not love that sentence fragment?), Ricciardi is left with nothing. His stubborn philosophy of not overpaying and sticking to his guns has left him with few options for potential starters. Sure, $11 million per year for a marginal pitcher is ridiculous, but this is what you have to do in today’s market to succeed. With Rogers loosening the purse strings, there were no excuses.

Instead of getting the solid pitcher he needs, he ends up overpaying for Frank Thomas (a two-time MVP but a veteran riding the coattails of a contract year) and rummaging through the scrap heap to uncover three lackluster journeymen pitchers, Tomo Ohka, John Thomson and Victor Zambrano. Thomson suffers from arm troubles and his season is derailed before it even begins. As for Thomas, he is given $18 million for a two-year deal. He’s pushing 40. Here we are in 2007, and the “slugger” is hitting .244 and has struck out in 23.2% of his at-bats. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now. Tell me why that move made sense.

Just when you think that can’t be topped, the adventure continues. After lowballing veteran catcher Gregg Zaun, rumours abound that Ricciardi is courting Texas catcher Rod Barajas. Seeing the writing on the wall, Zaun starts negotiating with other clubs, including the Yankees. But before Barajas can put pen to paper and take the standard physical exam, he backs out of the deal. [This is a great link, by the way. My favourite quote: “The entire episode is sort of embarassing.” That’s a nice way of putting it.] So with his tail between his legs, Ricciardi goes crawling back to Zaun and overpays for him just to get him back.

That wasn’t even the end of it. Other notable gaffes included losing steady reliever Justin Speier and consistent hitter Frank Catalanotto while taking a flyer on aging middle infielder Royce Clayton to replace the disappointing Russ Adams.

So we’re now just a month and a half into the season. Toronto snapped a nine-game losing streak last night (thanks, Tampa) but the outlook for the rest of the year is about as promising as Enron stock. Halladay may be out for 4-6 weeks. B.J. Ryan will miss the remainder of the year, an announcement which of course came after Ricciardi lied to the press about the nature of his injury. Surprising? Not in the least.